faggot pt 2.

people often ask me why i feel the way i do about my lil brother.

i don't understand what yall don't get.

i'm aware it makes me look like i don't care about family, but that's hardly the case.
my 2 older brothers are like my best friends, my moms, my aunts and i are all tight, and though i don't see 'em often, i got love for my cousins too.

it's just HIM i don't, nor will i ever care for. infact, every night he leaves the house and goes out to do..whatever, i hope and pray he doesn't come back.
..and every morning i'm disappointed.


how would you feel about someone who, for 8 years, constantly disrespected you, repeatedly lied to your face, and routinely stole from you? i'd bet my life that EVERY single person is who reading this would despise that person. so again, what don't yall get? yall understand my strife, you're just under the common misconception it should be different since we're related. you're not alone..

my moms told me since he's my brother, i have to love him.
really? when was that written into law?

she told me how she tried to kill her brother many times. she still loved him though.

''i'm not you''.

us being related means NOTHING to me. i am his sister on paper, and that is all.



having complete strangers and lame schoolmates disrespect me for no reason at all doesn't/didn't bother me, for the pure fact they don't know me, and usually just go of what they see. but for someone that i've lived with for 18 years, someone that might not know everything about me, but knows more than most do about me.. for someone that i've never disrespected, never lied to, never stolen from.. for that someone to treat me like i'm one of their lil friends.. for that someone to treat me like SHIT, na. that's not cool. that bothers me.

whenver he asks for money, and i actually have it, i give it to him. whenever he asks to use something in my possesion, i let him. whenever he asks me to do something, i oblige. whenever he doesn't know how to do something, i help his ass out.

and THIS is how i'm repaid? taking things out of my room while i'm not home, or sleeping. wearing my things without my permission. taking money out of my pockets. lying to me about some stupid shit. lying to me about something i already know the truth about. comin' out of your mouth because you're mad you didn't get something you obviously don't deserve.

word?

and yall really have the nerve to say I'M wrong?
please.

i just turned 21. that's 21 years where i've been nothing but respectful to everyone i've come across. i've been a model friend, and i'm workin' on becoming a model citizen. i've never started a stupid, pointless argument or fight. i've never yelled, screamed, or even raised my voice at anyone. i've never done anything to cause ANYONE harm. in 21 years.. and counting.

and for 21 years i've been treated like dirt. by people i don't know. people i'm related to. people i've never met. and so called friends.

so forgive me if i'm just a liiiittle peaved, but i think i'm justified in feeling the way i do.. and there's nothing you can ask or say to me to change that.